Recently, a colleague and I were discussing a famous story about a monkey.
The story goes that the best way to catch a monkey is to put a banana at the bottom of a jar with a narrow neck. The monkey reaches in and grabs the banana, but it can’t pull its fist back out, because it refuses to let go. Even when the hunters arrive to take it away, the monkey keeps holding on to the banana, screaming and struggling to get free, and in the end it is caught. The monkey will do anything except let go of the banana. (It is probably more parable than fact, but the point stands.)
The point of the story is that the things we want most are often the things that trap us and take away our freedom. For example, we try with all our might to let go of people who have hurt us, and we can’t. Like the monkey, we cling tightly to something that ultimately holds us back. To be truly free, we need to learn to let go of such things, even when it is hard.
Ironically, the one thing we do not fear is the thing that costs us most: if we never let go, we lose our freedom for good. A frightened, desperate mind worries only about what it can hold on to right now, not about the good things that could happen if it let go. If we could let go, who knows what might happen? We could:
- Escape to freedom in the jungle instead of ending up in a zoo
- Find even more bananas (after all, this one came from somewhere, didn’t it?)
- Teach other poor monkeys who won’t let go of their bananas
- Start a blog about the dangers of banana traps
So how do we let go of the things, people, perspectives and beliefs that are literally holding us back from growing?
Awareness. As soon as you can see it, you can name it. Like the monsters in our childhood bedrooms, once we name them they lose some of their power. When we realise that the person or thing we can’t let go of is controlling our thoughts and actions, we can start to take our power back.
So start by becoming aware of what is holding you back, and give it a name. Then begin taking small steps to let go of it. It may be hard, and it may take time, but in the end it can lead to greater freedom and new possibilities.